Confidence… we all want it, but how do we get it? ✨
Today I wanted to talk about confidence.
We all want it in some way or another, whether that’s finding confidence to go after that job, asking that person out, or just simply being yourself in a social situation, there’s always the next step we want to take... but how do we get there?
I like to think of myself as a pretty confident person, confident in who I am and what I was put on this earth to do.
But don’t get me wrong, we all have days where we feel insecure, we picks ourselves apart and we find things we don’t necessarily like about ourselves… but it’s your ability to flip your perspective, STOP that negative loop & really start to find things you love about yourself, even when it feels near impossible!
Your mind is so powerful and what you constantly tell yourself, becomes your reality.
If you constantly tell yourself you aren’t worthy, you’ll show up as if you aren’t.
If you constantly tell yourself you aren’t enough, you’ll show up as if you aren’t.
If you constantly tell yourself you aren’t confident, you’ll show up as if you aren’t.
But the good news?
If you tell yourself you are enough, you are worthy & you are confident - that is exactly how you will start to show up.
It takes time and a lot of hard work, but the journey is definitely worth it!
I think the first thing to remember is, confidence is not about being the smartest, prettiest or best person in the room, it’s about loving yourself enough to not compare those things.
I spent too many of my years trying to fit into a box that society created for me, trying to be someone else, trying to be skinnier or prettier or be the best at everything, and at the end of the day, if you are constantly trying to be someone else, how will you ever find confidence within YOURSELF?
Confidence truly comes back to being so solid in who you are and loving yourself wholeheartedly and unconditionally, that nothing and no one can rock you.
You’ve got to find confidence within yourself, so you aren’t searching for validation from external sources.
My top tips to find that confidence is through journaling, affirmations & changing those negative thought patterns and pulling yourself up when you find yourself talking down to yourself.
Let’s break that down.
Firstly, journaling. Journaling is a great tool to reflect on how you’ve perceived yourself in past situations, how you’ve shown up in situations and what limiting beliefs you may have around your confidence.
For example, you might always say to someone “I am so shy” but you don’t show up as shy to other people, which means you feel you lack confidence, but you don’t come across that way... so when you break that down, if you actually tell yourself the story of “I am confident, I am outgoing, I am solid in who I am” - can you see how that may change how you feel going into a situation?
So flagging these stories that we tell ourselves and then flipping our perspective is SO powerful.
Affirmations are a great way of changing thought patterns. I always recommend to my R&C gals to set an alarm for the same time each day, to say or write your affirmations. Try affirmations like; I am loved, I am confident; I love myself; I love who I am; I love how I show up in the world.
Changing your negative thought patterns takes time, but the first step towards changing them, always comes down to awareness. Once you are aware that you are having negative thought patterns, you can pull yourself up on it.
For example, if you are looking in the mirror and picking apart your body, telling yourself all the things you wish you could change about yourself, you can then stop yourself, and go, okay, now, what are 5 things I love about myself? Or even start with just 1… the more you put this into practice, the easier it will become.
Confidence can bring you so much in life, if you just sit and think about what having confidence has brought you or could bring you, how magical is that feeling… you go after what you want and you don’t need permission or approval from anyone.
You have confidence in you, you just need to unleash it. Remind yourself that you are worthy, you are loved & you are always enough.
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